No news is good news

Christmas was extremely busy, but thankfully lacking in surprises. Sam went to Church twice in nine hours, saw lots of new faces, and was great. He had quite the gift haul, but seemed more interested in ceiling lighting than his new outfits.

The new dose seems to keep his high heart rate from kicking in. Thank you for the prayers. The random checks we have done have all come up normal. His dosing will change as he gets older and heavier. Hopefully the increases will prevent another medication switch that would require hospitalization. The propanolol side effects are minimal. The alternatives seem to carry more risk. We have another check up tomorrow to get his latest weight and verify that everything is going well.

Here is a little anecdote that I held off on sharing: I didn't want to trivialize it. When Samuel was still in Newborn Intensive Care a month ago we spoke with a team of residents and the neonatologist on duty. They wanted us to go home that afternoon. It was Sunday and Sam's heart rate alarm had been going off for a third of the prior night. As a result of the medicine his sleeping heart rate was going low. The nurses on duty said his alarm was going off so much that other people on the floor had trouble sleeping.

On Saturday the medical team neonatologist/cardiologist that spoke with us said we would go home Monday. A different neonatologist/cardiologist combo spoke with us Sunday and now planned to send us home a day early. Kate and I were not ready. Sam apparently wasn't ready. We argued our case and waited to see the results.

Katie and I had planned to go to Church Sunday morning. In light of the possibility of getting kicked out of NICU Kate decided to stay and try to bump up appointments for people we were supposed to meet with on Monday. I said I would go to Church solo.

I believe that when you look for something you are bound to find it. If there is something ugly in front of you and you look for beauty you will see it. I believe that some things are coincidences. People hear a phrase and it speaks to them because that is what they needed to feel. Having said all this, I also believe that some things are miracles and are supposed to impact one person for a specific reason.

So, I go to Church. I am upset about the prospect of being kicked out of NICU a day early. I am nervous about taking our kid home on a medicine we are still not sure will work for the long term. I am basically begging for a sign that everything will work out and Sam will be safe.

People are singing as I come in and take my place. The parish finishes the song. Someone approaches the lectern and says, "The first reading is from the book of Samuel."

Coincidences happen every day. So do miracles.